I get paid to run

That's right.  I'm one of those runners.  I get paid to run.  I'm actually not very good at running.  But I still get paid to run.  I know!  It's crazy!  Now, let me be clear.  I don't get paid on every run.  Or every other run for that matter.  But I got paid for my run today! 

CHECK IT OUT!!!  Yea baby!  So I'm on my run.  By myself today too!!  Thanks honey!  I always feel weird running by myself.  For years and years, I have ran with something.  The dogs (one or two...usually both), or now my running stroller with my sweet Munchkin in it.  But the past two days have gloriously weird.  I've gotten to run by myself while the hubs watches Munchkin and works from home.  Anyways, I'm on my run, and I'm just tearing it up.  It's amazing how much more stamina you have when you're not pushing a running stroller into the wind!  I'm headed out of a cul-de-sac and I look down and see lots of shiny, round coins ahead of me.  I quickly debate if I should look desperate and poor and stoop over and pick up the change, or if I should keep my pride and dignity and keep on running.  OH....I stopped!!  I have no pride.   After having my son poop on my crotch in the middle of Academy (a whole, squishy turd, although he was wearing a diaper...not sure how he keeps pooping outside of his diapers, but I"m starting to notice a pattern) I have no pride or dignity left.  I just don't care anymore.  I would never be able to leave the house if I had any, because of the goldfish goo he just wiped on my pants, the slobber stain on my shoulder, the film on my teeth because I haven't had a chance to brush my teeth yet today, the glob of dried, white milk on my black skirt, the fart noises he now likes to make on my neck, and the funky "I just cooked something in the frying pan this morning" smell that you sometimes get on your clothes.  I ended up picking up $0.99 cents!!  I thought that was so awesome!  Then I continued my run, thinking to myself, "Man it sure would be cool to find one more penny to get a whole dollar!!"  I have no clue why I wanted another penny but whatever.  So I spend the rest of my run with my head down in the gutter (yes...where I threw my son the other day) trying to find another penny.  And wouldn't you know it, NO PENNYS!  Apparently, they're not as common as you would think.  So walking home (because of my cool down time not because I'm a lame runner) I was somewhat bummed I couldn't find another penny.  Then I walked into our driveway.  LO AND BEHOLD!  A PENNY!  So I walked into the front door, getting paid $1.00 for my run! So I took a picture and put it in Munchkins piggy bank!